she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize