In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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