YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize