he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
