Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
