ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
