you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
