Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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