yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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