mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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