Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
