There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
