You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
