lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
