I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
