he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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