When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
