What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
