the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you never un-have a 4some
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
