This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Randomize
