watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
