I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
