You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
