i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
