you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
