Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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