I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
