i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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