Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
