Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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