if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
how does that bad decision feel?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize