haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
