they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
