i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
