I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize