don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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