Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
