is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
