I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dual....:-)
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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