im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
