I bet he comes in French.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
