She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
