And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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