don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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