It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
