Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize