# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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