he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
