Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
