fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
