one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
