i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
