just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
