i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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