The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
