Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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