hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
