maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
