the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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