I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
