ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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