why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
