Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
