Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
