I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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