you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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